January 28th, 2011


Marriage as seen through the eyes of a guy I work with

 So! I'm at work the other day, Work-Dude (henceforth WD)  and I are working and listening to his music. A song comes on and it's light rap/hip-hop sort of deal, not really my thing but I make him listen to my chinese techno so I'm like whatever. We're listening to this song and he says "This song's kinda sick, hey?" Now, I wasn't really paying attention so I asked him what he meant and he said "Well it's about this dude and his girlfriend trying to convince this other girl to enter into a three way relationship with them."

"What, like a threesome?"

"Ya, but, like, dating"

At this, I raise my eyebrow and go "So?"

The so is this: He thinks that a relationship should be two people only because it's "just not right." I asked him why not and he said the power play is wrong. This got us talking about polygamy and how I think that if it's someone's choice to enter into that kind of relationship. knowing the risks, then it's their choice and it has nothing to do with me.

Then he said "I don't know. Marriage should be one man and one woman intent on starting a family. Like, I don't think gay marriage is right."

"... ... ... Wh- Really?"

"Ya," he says. And his reasoning is this: Marriage gives benifits to couples that are intended for helping raise a family and a same sex couple can't do that. I'm, of course, the first to object, because my cousins' biological moms are married, both girls have the same father, different mothers, and the older one also has her mom from before my aunt and her split up. They're raising a family, right? They're raising their biological children in a family setting, but he still said that they should not have gotten married.

I also know the gay-boyfriend is planning on either surrogating or adopting lots of kids when he gats married, also wanting to raise a family, but WD says that he shouldn't because the whole point of marriage is to have sex and have kids.

He also said that my other cousin shouldn't have gotten married (They raise dogs instead of children), My other cousin shouldn't have (who is physically incapable of having children), my aunt and uncle (who have adult children and fell in love long after they all moved away), and my god parents (Who got married becasue neither wanted children). He also slammed me because I said I was thinking I'd like to adopt kids! Then he got really mad and said that everyone expected him to bow to their oppinions and he wanted to keep his own, thank you very much!

I backed off, let him fume for a bit, and then we changed the topic and everything was hunky-dory again. It's stuck with me though. And his oppinion on relationships really bothers me. Because it restricts people, and I think that is a horrible thing to confine people into little set moulds of what you think is right. If I've learned anything in my years in Fandom, in school, in life in general, it's that being angry when someone refuses to fit into the restrictions that they've put on life in their eyes is pointless. Someone wants to be in a three-way relationship? I don't care, have at 'er. I had a friend who was in one for a while and it didn't change my oppinion of her, she's still one of the best people I know. A woman wants to enter into a polygamous relationship? Good for them, as long as they know the risks, but I've heard of polygamists that have lead long and happy lives together. A couple wants to dom/sub? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. A couple that marry just for the sake of getting married? I have family members like that, that love eachother and don't need a kid in their lives to keep them together! I know families that have split down the seams even with a kid in the picture. To men want to make a commitment to spend the rest of their lives together? Good. They should.

As you can see, this really pissed me off. I'm supposed to be calling azalea_j  right mow but I typed this up instead. Don't be mad sweetie!! I called once I was done!